|One day a tired salseman goes into a bar and orders a beer. While
he's enjoying his drink, he notices a nittle old man with a peg-leg
and a Noggin the size of a baseball. Curious, he ask the man, "How in
the world did your noggin get to me so DAMN Tiny?"
The old man replies "I used to be a sailor, but one day, i was out
sailing when my shipwrecked on a remote island. I lived there for
about three years. One day a beuatiful mermaid came up on shore. she
gave me three wishes. For the first wish, I asked her to be back in
civilization, for the second i wished for 25 million dollars. For the
third wish i told her that i wanted to have sex with a mermaid. She
told me 'sorry, but mermaid dont have the right equipment to have
sex. So i said "how about a little head then?"
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The New Preist and His Mistakes
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor
replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I
put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
nervous, I take a sip."